Fanfic: "SwatKats Unmasked?" Pt. 2

From: Andy Hill <>
Date: Tue, 18 Apr 1995 23:53:00 -0700 (PDT)

     Here's part II, feel free to say "uncle" if you're getting annoyed.



     Noise and red flashing light filled the darkened garage as Callie
Briggs had something on her hands that only the SWATKATS could handle.
The "hot-line" which set off the klaxon and the strobe-light was never
intended as a wakeup call, but was effective nonetheless. T-Bone stirred
first, grabbing the nearest handy object and flinging it toward his alarm
clock, in the mistaken belief that it was the source of the disturbance.
Razor fell off the couch as a direct result of T-Bone's sudden movement,
landing on the half-empty dish of nachos in the process.

        "Huh...wha? T-Bone! Wake up! Callie's callin' "

     Razor had always given T-Bone every opportunity to answer the phone
first, as he tended to be more insecure talking to women than the
outwardly self-assured T-Bone, but this time he'd be the first one to the
call box, and no getting out of it.

        "What can we do for you Miss Briggs?", Razor asked in a confident
         voice that surprised even himself.

        "Razor, the circus animals are stampeding downtown - the crowd's
         in a panic, and the Enforcers are just making things worse!"

     Callie's voice, though out of breath, still managed to convey the
fact she was indeed the best looking politician MegaKat City had to offer.

        "We'll be there as fast as we can, Miss Briggs...not to worry!"

        "Up and at 'em Chance - Callie needs us!"

     Razor shook T-Bone awake, who'd been dreaming of frayed cables,
ten-storey buildings, "Scaredy Kat" and nachos - and was barely able to
understand the concept of morning without breakfast, let alone rampaging
circus animals. Fireman style, they dropped down the ladder into the
hangar, cleared away the mechanic's debris, and flew off into the morning
sky high above MegaKat City.

     The scene at the City Square was far worse than even Razor
imagined. Somehow, the tigers, lions, bears and elephants of the circus
had broken loose and were chasing the throngs of terrified onlookers
through the narrow streets of MegaKat City's business district. The
Enforcers had blocked off all of the side streets leading onto the main
strip in preparation for the parade, leaving the terrified crowd no means
of escape save the open end of Main Street. Razor turned on the VHF
radio and keyed in the channel of Enforcer Operations. The panicky
voices of the Enforcers told Razor and T-Bone all they needed to know,
the situation had gotten out of hand, and people were going to get hurt.
The voice of Lt. Steel, distorted by the sounds of the commotion taking
place below and the radio link, filled the cockpit.

        "This is Steel. We have to stop this from spreading any further
         through the city - block off the street now!"

     The Enforcer channel was silent for a couple of seconds, then the
replies from various crowd control officers began.

        "Lt. Steel...we can't follow your orders sir, you'll be blocking off
         the only means the crowd has to escape - and I won't have that on
         MY conscience..."

     All the officers under Steel's command voiced similar objections,
and T-Bone was the first to notice that Steel's car was now changing postion.

        "Aww, CRUD! Steel's blocking the street with Feral's car himself!"

        "Looks like Steel had an extra helping of Stupid with breakfast
         this morning..." added Razor, who was watching the events on the
street via the Weapons panel. T-Bone could barely hear Razor above the
sound of his stomach growling, and muttered only half audibly;

        " least he GOT breakfast this morning..."

     Callie Briggs was watching the whole spectacle from her vantage
point atop City Hall, and also had noticed that a tragedy was about to
take place. The position of Steel's car would leave people nowhere to
run, and they'd soon be trampled under by the herd. She was close enough
to the action to see Lt. Steel walk some distance toward the approaching
crowd, bullhorn in hand.

        "This is Lieutenant Steel. Do not panic. The Enforcers have
         everything under control."

     It was apparent that Callie and Lt. Steel had a much different
definition of "control", as the mob of citizens and circus animals was
approaching Steel and his bullhorn with frightening speed. Callie heard
the TurboKat a full minute before she caught a glimpse of it, and
rummaged around in her purse for the radio the SwatKats had given her.
She had a plan.

     T-Bone and Razor were circling the scene just below them, attempting
to come up with a plan of attack. Missiles couldn't be used effectively
in such a situation without injuring the people they were designed to
protect. T-Bone banked the TurboKat to afford a better look just as the
klaxon in the cockpit sounded.

        "Yes Miss Briggs?" answered Razor, achieving a new personal best
         of twice in the same day.

        "Guys...", began Callie, more composed than before, "...I've got
         an idea how we can regain some control here - without anyone
         getting hurt..."

     Callie relayed her idea, the first part of which involved removing
Feral's car from the position Steel had left it, blocking the only means
of escape for the crowd. Steel had by now realized his error, coming
face to face with a large circus lion which regarded anything in uniform
as "lunch". All pretensions of control long since abandoned, Steel
dropped his bullhorn and ran faster than he'd thought possible -
eventually finding refuge on the second flight of a fire escape, a
perfect spot from which to watch the disaster he'd created unfold before
him. T-Bone brought the TurboKat into a steep climb as Razor readied the
grappling hook, a nagging feeling that he'd forgotten something dogging
him through the checklist. T-Bone flew the TurboKat in low along Main
Street above the heads of the mob, changing to Vertical operation
directly above Feral's car as Razor lowered the grappling hook. The car
was picked up easily by the TurboKat, just as the crowd reached the


     The fleeing citizenry was now well clear of the animals, allowing
the Enforcer units, under the command of Callie Briggs, to control the
herd with gas grenades and cannon-launched nets. The street had soon
returned to normal, save for an odd looking menagerie of disoriented
animals being marched by the Enforcers back towards captivity.

        "Razor, now that we have Feral's car, whaddya want to do with it -
         turn it into a planter?"

        "Um...tempting T-Bone, but just fly us over to Enforcer headquarters
         and we'll set it down in the parking lot - we don't want to get stuck
         with another bill..."

        "Razor, anyone ever tell you you're no fun anymore..."

     T-Bone caught a glimpse of Steel, still perched atop the fire
escape, and decided that a kind of aviator's "up-yours" was in order.
Flying close enough to see the expression of pure hatred on his face,
T-Bone moved the stick back and forth in the traditional "wing waggle" of
fighter pilots, with Feral's car swinging to and fro beneath the TurboKat
like some kind of giant yo-yo. Below his seat, Razor heard a noise like
a rubber band snapping. He tilted his head to one side, perking up the
closest ear in an attempt to discover the source of the noise above the
roar of the TurboKat's thrusters. The second sound was louder, like a
guitar string breaking - and he suddenly realized he'd forgotten something...

        "Aw, really shouldn't outta have done that..."

     The cable holding the car parted with an almighty "SNAP!", dropping
the vehicle and the remains of the frayed cable some 300 feet to the
street below - directly in front of Lt. Steel, who was now shaking his
fist and shouting something unintelligible above the noise of the
TurboKat. The car landed roof first, smashing completely flat, leaving
only the tires mute testimony as to what the crumpled mass of metal had
originally been. T-Bone circled the TurboKat over the wreckage,
determined to admire his handiwork, then broke out in a silly grin as he
reached for the microphone to the TurboKat's Public Address system.
T-Bone's sense of humour often ran towards the darkly sarcastic, and no
opportunity was to be missed. His voice soon boomed throughout the block:

        "Look on the bright side Steel, at least you didn't get a parking

     As T-Bone's laughter drowned out even the TurboKat, Razor put his
head in his hands, closed his eyes, and wondered just how funny this
would be when Feral got wind of it. They headed for the salvage yard,
leaving Lt. Steel planning revenge, and a good excuse to give Commander

________________________________End of Part II____________________________

     "His biography said he bumped his butt 'cuz he ate too much sugar... said,really..." - Slappy Squirrel, "Bumbie's Mom" ANIMX

Received on Wed Apr 19 1995 - 02:47:14 PDT

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