Here's a short story...

From: David Minter <>
Date: Thu, 23 Nov 1995 23:57:13 -0600

                       SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron

                             "Southern Sunshine"

                    Copyright 11-23-95 by David B. Minter.

             SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron, T-Bone, Razor, Dark
                Kat, and MegaKat City _at_1995 by Hanna-Barbera.

               T-Bone gritted his teeth as his hold against Dark Kat
          began to give sway. Strength for strength was vying in
          this fight, and strength was losing... T-BONE'S! Dark Kat
          returned the SWAT Kat's grimace with an evil grin, one of
          impending triumph. "You're mine, SWAT Kat! Mine from the
          very beginning!" Chained to a nearby wall, Razor could
          only look on, both of their Glovatrixes lying just
          desperately out of reach on the table in front of Dark
          Kat's computer. Finally, Dark Kat forced T-Bone down to
          the cold stone floor of the cave. The small stones dug
          into T-Bone's fur, even through his jacket. Small pricks
          of pain ran down his spine, but he wouldn't let his enemy
          know it.

               Dark Kat slithered up into his face. His looming,
          evil hulk casting an ominous shadow over our hero. "Fool!
          How could you have possibly hoped to have contended with
          me?!" The acid droll, underscored by Dark Kat's heavy
          tone, which sounded strangely enough like Brock Peters,
          reverberated through T-Bone's ears. "I'm only doing this
          for your greater good!" "You're mad! You're only doing
          this... whatever it is... for yourself, Dark Kat!"

               Razor used his buddy's comments as a cue to introduce
          this story's EI, Evil Invention. "T-BONE! You've got to
          stop him!" Razor turned to face the titanic cannon-like
          device jutting up out of the cave through a small latch.
          "That's an electromagnetic reversing cyclotron! If he
          activates it, he can control or destroy all radio and
          television waves with it! Even Video Kat-Sette Recorders
          won't display audio or video; YOU'VE GOT TO STOP HIM... or
          free me, one of the two..."

               T-Bone stared down Dark Kat's gaze. The villains
          hot, leering breath was in his face. And, that was when
          he noticed something quite unusual. A small patch of Dark
          Kat's purple face appeared to have come loose, almost
          falling away. "Why don't you try to help you friend, SWAT
          Kat?" And with that, T-Bone brought his paws up into Dark
          Kat's torso. "Did anyone ever tell you you sound like
          Brock Peters, Dark Kat?" Using principles of leverage
          that would take too long to go into right at this moment,
          T-Bone flipped Dark Kat over onto his back, reversing the
          hold. He worked a hand free from Dark Kat's grasp and
          banged his elbow into the villain's nose. Stunned, Dark
          Kat was caught off guard, and T-Bone took a firm hold of
          the loose piece of flesh. With a single swipe, T-Bone
          tore Dark Kat's face off! He was just as stunned as you.

               In desperation, Dark Kat covered his face with one
          forepaw and tossed T-Bone into the wall where Razor was
          chained up with the other. Momentarily stunned, T-Bone
          shook the soured milk out of his noggin, and began working
          to free his comrade from his bonds. After a few initial
          failure tugs, he finally managed to tear the manacles from
          the wall. RAZOR WAS FREE! The pair snatched their
          Glovatrixes from the table, and donned them. "THERE!"
          Razor shouted, pointing to a bank of complicated looking
          switches. The pair raised their paws, only to be knocked
          across the room by a Kreepling tossed at them by Dark Kat.

               The SWAT Kats bounced a few times across the room
          before finally coming to rest. They stood to see Dark Kat
          approaching. "Why must you two constantly foil me?! My
          plans are for the better good. You two had your time, but
          now it's time for it to come crashing down to an all too
          early end!" "But why?! We've only just begun!" "We
          haven't had our chance to-" "Oh, but you have-" Dark Kat
          interrupted T-Bone. He dropped his forepaw from his face.
          "-SWAT KATS!"

               The SWAT Kats were agape at the sight of the revealed
          Dark Kat. It had all been a ruse, a mask all along. He
          had never intended to allow them to survive. The creased
          face bore down on them. His silver hair was slightly
          disheveled from the conflict. His mouth was a big, toothy
          grin as he spoke with a southern drawl. "You don't seem
          to understand! Accept the facts! Both Jane and I prefer
          Jonny Quest anyway!" He pulled the remote control from
          his pocket, and aimed it at his cannon. T-Bone and Razor
          raised their Glovatrixes to try and stop the madman, but
          it was too late.

               A far away view of Megakat City would have betrayed
          the doom rapidly approaching it. The serene city embraced
          death in its usual manner: unknowingly. The whole city
          suddenly turned into a long, cylindrical beam of energy, a
          large dot at its epicenter. With a final BLEEP, the city
          was shut off for the last time...

          NOTE: Before I get flamed, this story was, of course, not
            intended to be taken seriously and was entirely satire
           against the treatment that the SWAT Kats have received.

     David Minter
     ( What an original signature! )

Received on Fri Nov 24 1995 - 01:32:47 PST

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