SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron
"Southern Sunshine"
Copyright 11-23-95 by David B. Minter.
SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron, T-Bone, Razor, Dark
Kat, and MegaKat City _at_1995 by Hanna-Barbera.
T-Bone gritted his teeth as his hold against Dark Kat
began to give sway. Strength for strength was vying in
this fight, and strength was losing... T-BONE'S! Dark Kat
returned the SWAT Kat's grimace with an evil grin, one of
impending triumph. "You're mine, SWAT Kat! Mine from the
very beginning!" Chained to a nearby wall, Razor could
only look on, both of their Glovatrixes lying just
desperately out of reach on the table in front of Dark
Kat's computer. Finally, Dark Kat forced T-Bone down to
the cold stone floor of the cave. The small stones dug
into T-Bone's fur, even through his jacket. Small pricks
of pain ran down his spine, but he wouldn't let his enemy
know it.
Dark Kat slithered up into his face. His looming,
evil hulk casting an ominous shadow over our hero. "Fool!
How could you have possibly hoped to have contended with
me?!" The acid droll, underscored by Dark Kat's heavy
tone, which sounded strangely enough like Brock Peters,
reverberated through T-Bone's ears. "I'm only doing this
for your greater good!" "You're mad! You're only doing
this... whatever it is... for yourself, Dark Kat!"
Razor used his buddy's comments as a cue to introduce
this story's EI, Evil Invention. "T-BONE! You've got to
stop him!" Razor turned to face the titanic cannon-like
device jutting up out of the cave through a small latch.
"That's an electromagnetic reversing cyclotron! If he
activates it, he can control or destroy all radio and
television waves with it! Even Video Kat-Sette Recorders
won't display audio or video; YOU'VE GOT TO STOP HIM... or
free me, one of the two..."
T-Bone stared down Dark Kat's gaze. The villains
hot, leering breath was in his face. And, that was when
he noticed something quite unusual. A small patch of Dark
Kat's purple face appeared to have come loose, almost
falling away. "Why don't you try to help you friend, SWAT
Kat?" And with that, T-Bone brought his paws up into Dark
Kat's torso. "Did anyone ever tell you you sound like
Brock Peters, Dark Kat?" Using principles of leverage
that would take too long to go into right at this moment,
T-Bone flipped Dark Kat over onto his back, reversing the
hold. He worked a hand free from Dark Kat's grasp and
banged his elbow into the villain's nose. Stunned, Dark
Kat was caught off guard, and T-Bone took a firm hold of
the loose piece of flesh. With a single swipe, T-Bone
tore Dark Kat's face off! He was just as stunned as you.
In desperation, Dark Kat covered his face with one
forepaw and tossed T-Bone into the wall where Razor was
chained up with the other. Momentarily stunned, T-Bone
shook the soured milk out of his noggin, and began working
to free his comrade from his bonds. After a few initial
failure tugs, he finally managed to tear the manacles from
the wall. RAZOR WAS FREE! The pair snatched their
Glovatrixes from the table, and donned them. "THERE!"
Razor shouted, pointing to a bank of complicated looking
switches. The pair raised their paws, only to be knocked
across the room by a Kreepling tossed at them by Dark Kat.
The SWAT Kats bounced a few times across the room
before finally coming to rest. They stood to see Dark Kat
approaching. "Why must you two constantly foil me?! My
plans are for the better good. You two had your time, but
now it's time for it to come crashing down to an all too
early end!" "But why?! We've only just begun!" "We
haven't had our chance to-" "Oh, but you have-" Dark Kat
interrupted T-Bone. He dropped his forepaw from his face.
"-SWAT KATS!"
The SWAT Kats were agape at the sight of the revealed
Dark Kat. It had all been a ruse, a mask all along. He
had never intended to allow them to survive. The creased
face bore down on them. His silver hair was slightly
disheveled from the conflict. His mouth was a big, toothy
grin as he spoke with a southern drawl. "You don't seem
to understand! Accept the facts! Both Jane and I prefer
Jonny Quest anyway!" He pulled the remote control from
his pocket, and aimed it at his cannon. T-Bone and Razor
raised their Glovatrixes to try and stop the madman, but
it was too late.
A far away view of Megakat City would have betrayed
the doom rapidly approaching it. The serene city embraced
death in its usual manner: unknowingly. The whole city
suddenly turned into a long, cylindrical beam of energy, a
large dot at its epicenter. With a final BLEEP, the city
was shut off for the last time...
NOTE: Before I get flamed, this story was, of course, not
intended to be taken seriously and was entirely satire
against the treatment that the SWAT Kats have received.
David Minter
mintedb_at_occ-uky.campus.mci.net
( What an original signature! )
Received on Fri Nov 24 1995 - 01:32:47 PST
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