Things That Never Made It To UMK3

Ever had the feeling that something should have been included in the UMK3 upgrade? Some really cool idea that they left out? Well, I have!! (But then again, what did you expect? I needed something to put on this page!) Well, here's a list of things that I think should have been included (or excluded):

  • Smoke disabled
  • Toasty man disabled
  • Lame fatalities disabled

    Other Ideas

    • Lamer Detector
      The machine could automatically spot those individuals who really bug the hell out of everyone in the arcade .. in one way or the other. The game would automatically extend a metalic arm from the top of the machine, grab the lamer and toss him out the door while everyone laughs at his stupid ass.

    • Super Lamer Detector
      This idea is especially made for those morons who contineously ask for nudealities. The arm comes out of the machine again, grabs the person by the balls, and slings them around the arcade for about an hour

    Endings that never made it

    These are endings that I think would have been cool as hell to see but the game programmers obviously felt otherwise.

    Newest Additions

    Kabal
    Returning from near death, Kabal swears at his attackers. He fights alongside the other Earth's warriors. When he he defeats Motaro and Shao Kahn, he proves that he truly is a masked freak. Before the invasion, Kabal was a transvestite with a mask he takes off to show the man face to another unsuspecting man. He was once a member of a group of prostitutes led by their pimp, Kano. Now Kabal devotes his life to stripping in a bar under the nickname : The Mask. He will give nudity's inner circles a new reason to fear.

    Liu Kang
    Liu Kang once again emerges champion again after proving himself a pain in the ass again. It is the apparent death of his friend Kung Lao that enrages Kang into thinking that he is getting tired of winning all the time after he defeats Kahn. He won easily watching his friend tell him he is an asshole and then die. All of the souls of the Outworld critizize him for always winning and Kitana comes to the Mother Realm (Earth) to madly make love to him to thank him.

    Older Additions

    Shang Tsung
    After the tournament, Shang found his morphing abilities to be quite useful here on earth. He would often morph into celeberties and do interviews with tabloids like "The National Enquirer" just for the hell of it. But, his morphing abilities would prove to be his downfall. His long time girlfriend left him because she just couldn't be with a man who "couldn't be himself." After depression and a lot of heavy drinking set in, Shang decided he had finally had enough and morphed into Kurt Cobain. Some maintenance guy found him the next morning in his Seatle home with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head .. R.I.P.

    Stryker
    Being a cop known for his brutal force, Stryker was easily able to beat Shao Kahn and win the tournament. But he ran into a little problem. One of his fights was against Jax which took place in a dark Los Angelas alley. Someone video taped Stryker beating the crap out of the poor guy. The tape ended up in the wrong hands and it was shown on the 10 'o clock news. Riots soon errupted everywhere and people went nuts. Stryker was later arrested and charged with assualt and battery and excessive use of force.

    Jax
    With his new bionic arms, Shao Kahn and his evil amry was no match for Jax. After winning the tournament, he decided to keep the arms because when they turned into knives, they made great can openers and other useful tools. He got so used to his new, metal arms after awhile, he soon forgot they were there .. but that is what caused the tragic accident when he got too close to an electrical outlet. His death was quite a "shock" to friends and family.

    Cyrax
    Cyrax was captured by Sub-Zero who reprogrammed the souless assassin to kill the jerk that was having an affair with his wife. Cyrax delivered a succesful sneak attack by catching subby's wife and her lover off gaurd while they were knockin' boots in the back seat of his Volvo. After completing his mission, Cyrax was waiting for new orders and then ... he was struck by lightning and short circuited. Cyrax was last seen in a downtown titty bar consuming alcoholic beverages and dancing nude on tabletops.

    Kung Lao
    Fighting alongside Liu kang, Kung Lao had a fight to the death with Shao Kahn and won. He was about to do his hat slice fatality on Kahn when things went totally wrong. His hat malfunctioned and went after Lao. It chased him for 25 miles until it finally caught up with him, slicing him to little pieces. Police were never able to find his testicles, which were apparently sawed off during the assault

    Smoke
    After winning the tournament, Smoke found life on earth to be very difficult. It started off minor at first .. frequent requests to sit in the "smoking" section in restaurants didn't really bother him. But things got worse when his wife left him because he couldn't "kick the habbit." And then finally, due to growing concerns of lung cancer and other such diseases, he was eventually made an outcast by the American Heart & Lung Association. He is now a homeless bum, wandering from house to house begging people to let him sleep in their chimneys.

    Kano
    The one-eyed theif turned against Shao Kahn and defeated him. He could've had Sonya killed but was deeply in love with her so he let her live. Kano put on the charm and him and Sonya were married sometime later. She then told him that she had to go out of town on business for a few days and would be back soon. Kano said he'd "keep an eye out for her." A few days later, Kano commits suicide and to this day, nobody really knows why

    Sonya
    The tournament went by and Sonya was soon made famous from her spread in Playboy (hehe). She is one bad azz beeeeeeeeeeaach and only leg tosses those guys who she considers worthy. She is now considered the sexiest woman in America and has an ass that simply WILL NOT quit!!! She did mary Kano at one time, skipped town after cleaning out his bank accounts, and robbing the poor chump of everything he owned.

    Sektor
    Sektor is unit C3P0, er .. LK9T9. While it was once believed that he was the fist ninja assassin to have been created by the Lin Kuei, it is discovered during the course of the tournament that he was actually the last .. a reject that was built with leftover Cyrax and Smoke parts and a few pieces of metal they scrapped off a Ford Pinto (which might explain why he sucks). He finally wins the tournament, despite the fact that his legs kept falling off and they had to superglue them back on every 10 minutes.

    Sheeva
    Sheeva used her four arms to easily beat the crap out of Shao Kahn and decided to remain here on earth after winning the Mortal Kombat tournament. Although things were rough for her at first because everyone made a mockery of her and her four arms, she soon became sort of a superstar .. making millions of dollars by staring in many big freak shows and circuis events.

    Sindel
    She wins the tournament and defeats Shao Kahn and quicky wins over the hearts and imagination of millions due to her floating abilities. You could often find her after dark hovering over the city in the night sky. She would eventually run into a weight problem .. getting up to a hefty 400 pounds. She was appropriately nicknamed "The Sindel Blimp." Her life was cut short when the US Army mistakenly mistook her for enemy aircraft and gunned her down. During her lifetime, GoodYear strapped a camera around her waist and she covered the Super Bowl every year along with other major sporting events.

    Characters that never made it

    Here are some characters that many felt should have been included in UMK3. But once again, the programmers disagreed.

    OJ Simpson

    Suggested Moves
    Butcher Fatality: He takes out a knife and slashes up the opponent into little pieces .. and then goes after their wives! When fighting against a female opponent, he also cuts them up and then slaughters the announcer as well, just 'cuz he happened to be there at the time. If you hold D+HP, after the fatality, he'll swear up and down that he didn't do it.

    Michael Jackson

    Suggested Moves
    'Da Crotchgrab: You might think that this is a devestating move where he grabs the opponent's crotch, but no .. it's simply a taunt move. Instead of grabing the opponet's crotch, he grabs his own and struts around the screen a little.
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!: A move sort of like Sindel's sonic scream. He lets out a thunderous yell that catches the opponent off gaurd and temperarily makes them vunerable for an attack.
    Flash Fatality: He pulls down his pants .. opponent falls to the ground and "dies" laughing.

    Long Dong Silver

    Suggested Moves
    Semon Squirt: He shoots a stream of jism into his opponent's eye, setting them up for an attack
    Shadow Cockswing: Beats opponent repeatedly over the head with his dick for a multi-hit combo.
    Penispound Fatality: Similar to Sheeva's fist pound fatality, he raises his penis high in the air and wacks it across the opponent's head several times .. sending them into the gound so that only their head sticks out of the ground. After that, he pisses in the opponent's face.
    Strangle Fatality Wraps his cock around the opponent's neck and chokes them to death.

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