Re: Who is the loneliest?

From: Felix Lee <flee_at_teleport.com>
Date: Mon, 26 Feb 1996 00:28:06 -0800

Edo Andromedo:
> Who is the loneliest character in the SwatKats universe?

Arthur Coon, a middle-aged advertising copy writer for TransKat
Pharmaceuticals. In high school he was class president, and although
he didn't marry the prom queen, he did marry her sister. But he's
divorced now; no kittens. He spends his days trying to find new ways
of saying that TKP's nepetalactone soda (commonly called "katmint") is
better, fresher, smoother, naturaller, incomparabler than their
competition's brand.

At night, he drinks a sixpack of katmint (the competition's brand, of
course), and watches Scaredy Kat reruns and David Litterbin until he
falls asleep. Asleep, he dreams of prowling like an animal through
empty city streets, trying to find the mailbox that leads back to his
dreamtime home, a place where bees fill the air like rain, and tall,
stately frogs perform Kabuki beneath the weeping willows.

Sometimes the mailbox is a parking meter.

He never remembers his dreams past the second caffeine donut at
breakfast. Still, his conversations tend to lead oddly to frogs or
bees. "Nice weather", someone says to him, and he might reply, "Too
warm for bees. Did you know that a hive controls its temperature by
making its workers flap their wings, like this?"

His coworkers avoid talking to him. His manager thinks he's gay, so
she casually flirts with him (and learns the names of forty-seven
species of frog). She's wrong, but it's not like it makes any
difference at the moment. Not until he can remember his dreams all
the way to lunch, and can face the secret they hide.
--

Received on Mon Feb 26 1996 - 03:44:23 PST